Melancholia

Sometimes I feel that it is better to die,
when hope is frail and love is so far.
To lose faith, I shall not.
But to stay strong, I am afraid.

What is there for me, God?
Is this a test or just another passerby?
Am I just one of his lovers aplenty?
Or am I destined to share his soul?
Why can't he make up his mind?
Why can't I have this happy moment last?

I love him,
I love him not.
He loves me,
He loves me not.

No one to share with,
No one to confide in.
Where would I stand?
Am I the diamond,
or another grain in the sand?
Am I the star, that brightly lit the sky?
Am I the dark sweet night,
lulling him to sleep with my lullaby.

Will I be forgotten, like the the lost city in the sea.
To be discovered when all is left are ruins.
To live I feel heavy,
To die I would sin.
To love I have plenty,
To receive I have yet one.
To whom I shall cry?

For I find solace in no one but you.
My life is stark darkness without you.
But for how long?